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Hotcakes & Atrocity

by The Shotgun Break

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1.
Beach ball bouncing blithely, Oh, to see what you must see When you’re spinning high above us In your red, yellow and green A hundred-thousand people All reaching up to touch you But I know that you will find me Just like love will always find me It started out as nothing But you know how these things go A war comes from a whisper And a lisp becomes a lingo The pounding’s getting louder And we’ll surely have to leave here But all I can think of are The Hollywood Park flamingos We all saw it happen The magician’s assistant Hued a bit too close And severed him at his midsection But he went on with his lecture (God bless his weary soul) On the immaculate and gentlemanly Art of deception It started out as nothing much But you know how things go A war comes from a whisper And a lisp becomes a lingo The pounding’s getting closer And we’ll surely have to leave here But all I can think of are The Hollywood Park flamingos All around the camp The kids are building clever traps The men are plotting spite checks And the dogs are licking scraps The moon is sitting high in the sky Projecting grace in pale white light My mind is running wild And I continue to recite The only prayer that I know And then I’ll call it a night: “I know that you will yet find me, Just like love will always find me.”
2.
In those days you wore gold chains And Jordache jeans, Posed like Cagney Dangling Swisher Sweets. Bought a sports car and drove With the T-tops down— Stopped at every stop sign In those leather seats The housewives would laugh and shake, Their husbands would bellyache As you performed your routines At my baseball games. From all the way in right I could see you two entwined. McCallister was always working late. The Unknown Comic and McCallister’s wife Were seen together once or twice— Dinner and a bottle of wine When you cut the holes out With tender precision and care And you put it on before You went to work that day, Did you know then That there was no going back, That once you wore the bag It was there to stay? Did you talk in code through branches, Exchange furtive glances As McCallister was flipping hamburgers? You roasted him at the Holiday Inn— But while the others went for blood You were uncharacteristically demure. The Unknown Comic and McCallister’s wife Were seen together once or twice— Dinner and a bottle of wine Was she an apparition? Or was she really there? Was it she we ate with On the second floor of that forgotten restaurant, Studying you like a spider studies The back-porch eaves As you ate your shepherd's pie? She came to see me play At the Culver City Tournament, right? Hiding in plain sight. After which we stopped at Foster's Freeze For some sodas and soft serve. Was she really there In those brown leather boots, In the purple scarf and silver stockings, Red lipstick and mysterious frock Warmly complimenting me On my lackluster performance? She looked at me like I was the feather in your hat. But she couldn't possibly have been there. No, it was someone else for sure. It was someone else's life. It was someone else's wife That I read about somewhere.
3.
In this dream I’m cutting into a ripe peach. I hack and stab it and remove pieces of the meat. The juice is running down my arms, Warm and sticky I go to bite it but it’s gone-- What a pity My troubles should be plain for all to see I’ve got buck teeth and haven’t gone through puberty I sound like Mickey Mouse I’m light as a feather I’m only tethered By whatever holds the weather The girls in school all treat me like a trained puppy “Puppy, you’re so cute, but don’t you dream you’ll ever fuck me” I’ve been hacking into my arm For the last 20 seconds I’ll be your Labrador The very moment that you beckon 1, 2, 3, 4 -- I want some more -- Acne -- Jewfro -- Pubic hair in my Coke -- Head meet locker -- Chest-tap torture -- Glory, Glory These are Days of Yory! 5, 6, 7, 8 -- I cannot wait -- Steal my inhaler -- Play keep away -- Read my e-mail -- Seed my female -- Welcome to Jamaica And have a nice day! I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues I’ve got the small dick blues
4.
Some say love is like the ocean: It's deep and it's long and you can't buy it. Not all of it at once anyway. Heading back to California On the New Colossus, gleaming Like a white diamond, floating Above the poor, pickled sea things. Housemaid’s knees and carpal tunnel-- 50,000 gallons of diesel-- We can pitch a picnic, Pippen, At your father’s father’s expense. My mother works in a factory, My brother died in one. Daddy said, “You better work till your good and dead!” But I just wanna have some fun. Mr. Fickle, there’s a tickle of spittle Trickling down your chin, coalescing Into the contours of your dimple. You always said it makes no sense messing With anybody who can’t help themselves, With anyone so self-disrespecting. I’ll sponge you down and comb your hair, Then wheel you off to the Captain’s Lair. My mother works in a factory, My brother died in one. Daddy said, “You better work till your good and dead, boy!” But I just wanna have some fun. Wake up, California! The sun is shining bright! Yeah, yeah, California! Brush off the cobwebs of last night! Hola, hola, Mendocino! Your blackberry beaches! Hola, hola, Malibu! If I can only breach your easements! (Sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat) The Royal Suite is 2,000 square feet-- Floor-to-ceiling windows, a kitchen For you to cook your own cuts of me. Until you stay here, you don’t know what you’re missing. I start with odds and then do evens, Hide behind the cart as you’re leaving. The swirling patterns make me dizzy-- Whoever said this yachting would be easy? My mother works in a factory, My brother died in one. Daddy said, “You better work till your good and dead, boy,” But I just wanna have some fun.
5.
I was sure the summer Would last the whole year long Back before the flood When I was still young But I’m always wrong The sky ripped open The rain came down in throngs I was sure the thunder Would go forever on But I’m always wrong You might think that I’m prevaricating But I swear I’m not lying when I tell you what scares me Is the thought I might be right one of these times When I met you, baby Down at Madame Wong’s I never thought we’d look back on Ten years gone But I’m always wrong (I still see you walking through the door; You looked at me and I hit the floor) We fought that whole first year We’d fight till the dawn I didn’t think I could take Any more of that Sturm und Drang But I’m always wrong You might think that I’m prevaricating But I swear I’m not lying when I tell you what scares me Is the thought I might be right one of these times Oh, the dirty breeze Oh, the dirty breeze Has dropped me to my knees Dropped me to my knees Oh, the dirty breeze Oh, the dirty breeze Has dropped me to my knees Dropped me to my knees Oh, the dirty breeze Oh, the dirty breeze Has dropped me to my knees Dropped me to my knees The sky ripped open again, my love But I didn’t mean to break your heart The second I thought I had it all figured Was the second it all came apart Well, the sun came up Just like it’s always done And the morning birds Filled the air with song And the beat goes on You might think that I’m prevaricating But I swear I’m not lying when I tell you what scares me Is the thought I might be right after all
6.
Shit Town 05:15
Always the crier And the last to know Can’t believe I’m still here In Chicago I used to drink with Liz and Joan Anymore I prefer to drink alone Sitting ‘round in Shit Town Getting drunk and watching the sun Going down over the suburbs Cut me a smile, Doc Cut me a line Transform this face Into something sublime I’ve got a stack of fashion magazines Here I am in my Birkenstocks and jeans Sitting ‘round in Shit Town Getting drunk and watching the sun Going down over the suburbs I’ll probably have a heart attack And be lying on my back Just stranded here for days and days and days Wake up a drooling mess In the tatters of my wedding dress A stranger with bad breath asking “Are you okay?” Ghostly faces From another age Stare right through me From my Facebook page I daydream Jon left me for An actress, model, writer, doctor, or— (Anybody but…) Sitting ‘round in Shit Town Getting drunk and watching the sun Going down over the suburbs Three cheers for the home team Let’s go! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! And one more for me Three cheers for the home team Let’s go! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! And one more for me Three cheers for the shut-in And one more for the sot And one more for me
7.
600 Books 04:05
600 books I’ve probably read and I’ll surely forget every word I once knew 500 songs that we all sing along and though I get them all wrong every word is for you Twenty-five years— If we’re lucky, and then some If we’re lucky, they will come Every day will be brand new Tell me, where does it say You must seek wisdom? And tell me where does it say You must seek grace? Is it love that I need, or dominion? Is it love that I see in your face? At the New Year’s bash You look lovely as a lash Lithe as a silk sash Flowing gently after you Naked on the couch You are quiet as a dead mouse I go to kiss you on the mouth Every day is brand new Tell me, where does it say You must seek wisdom? And tell me where does it say You must seek grace? Is it love that I need, or dominion? Is it love that I see in your face?
8.
A September morning Coffee cup in hand A little sugar and cream Will help wash down the sand Will help me swallow it down and Shake awake from this dream My mouth is dry And eyes are bleary The day that lies before me Doesn’t know that I am weary Doesn’t care that eyes are teary That lumps are forming I stand above you And I watch you sleep I suppose you’re dreaming Of things that I no longer seek Of ordinary things that now seep With secret meaning I see you in blue mittens I see you in black tights I see you in a red dress That flows behind you as you might Run through the parking lot at night To give Daddy a kiss I can see the future You’re driving determinedly From the office to your place Where a big and loving family Holds you close and ever amply In its warm embrace It’s in the telling That it becomes a truth It’s in your recognition That I’ll have undisputed proof That it was a doctor’s sooth That I was given When I see the tear form In the nub of your eye As I watch it gather And flow down with your baby’s cry Streak your cheek and by and by Become a lather I’ll try to remember You’ve seen it all unfurl That even at your age Every tender-hearted girl Knows nothing lasts in this world Of salt and sage
9.
Woke up in someone’s daughter’s room Did I imagine she was you? When you come to me in dreams, I wonder, are you dreaming of me too? Low talkers I can’t abide Slow walkers, step aside Just let me twirl my sign from side to side “Check your oil and change your tires!” Yeah, yeah! Your daughter don’t dance And your son, he don’t rock and roll Your daughter don’t dance And your son don’t rock and roll I’m old enough to be my father Lookin’ more like Jeffrey Dahmer And I’ve got nothing to my name I wouldn’t sell for the right offer Been to Oildale last week Looked in on the secret factory Where Lockheed unleashed That Bakersfield sound back in 1953 Yeah, yeah! Your daughter don’t dance And your son, he don’t rock and roll Your daughter don’t dance And your son don’t rock and roll I bought a new pair of shoes I can pick up some tacos Come over to your place And we can watch the news Like we used to do I’m an atheist folk singer Crooning in this Christian country band I sing of love and life and Jesus Christ But I don’t give a good goddamn Maybe the country’s breaking down Maybe the whole world’s breaking down Maybe the Second Coming is here at hand And I’m the last godless fool around Yeah, yeah! Your daughter don’t dance And your son, he don’t rock and roll Your daughter don’t dance And your son don’t rock and roll It’s a lovely day So glad you made it It’s such a perfect day To give everything away It’s a lovely day So glad you made it It’s such a perfect day To give everything away It’s a lovely day So glad you made it It’s such a perfect day To give everything away It’s a lovely day So glad you made it It’s such a perfect day To give everything away
10.
I’ve seen unholy things Some things I wish I could unsee Like when I wake up in the morning Lord knows what’s staring back at me Like the son of Uncle Sam I’m gonna kick out this jam And just like Kevin Dubrow I’m gonna rock my Jew-fro I didn’t come for no refreshments I didn’t come for no compliments I saw you, I love you, I need you And I’ve just gotta ask: Have you seen me in my Nudie suit? When I see you up there Affixed to your crucifix I think of all the times I’ve lied And all the times I nearly died But now I’ve gotta come to Jesus That’s right, I’ve gotta come to Jesus Well, Jesus was a Jew And I’m a Jew for Jesus I didn’t come for no refreshments I didn’t come for no compliments I saw you, I love you, I need you And I’ve just gotta ask: Have you seen me in my Nudie suit? Always tell the truth That’s one thing they can’t take from you Even if it seems cruel Even if they laugh and throw it back at you And I know you always tell me the truth That’s one thing I will say for you And I know you don’t mean to be cruel I know you don’t mean it But I love you even if you do You ever feel you’ve been cheated? You ever feel you’ve been had? After all is said and done, lord, To realize you were scammed? I want to feel the earth below me And curl my toes up in the sand Maybe drift out in the ocean And look back at this troubled land…

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released May 27, 2014

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The Shotgun Break Los Angeles, California

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