1. |
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Beach ball bouncing blithely,
Oh, to see what you must see
When you’re spinning high above us
In your red, yellow and green
A hundred-thousand people
All reaching up to touch you
But I know that you will find me
Just like love will always find me
It started out as nothing
But you know how these things go
A war comes from a whisper
And a lisp becomes a lingo
The pounding’s getting louder
And we’ll surely have to leave here
But all I can think of are
The Hollywood Park flamingos
We all saw it happen
The magician’s assistant
Hued a bit too close
And severed him at his midsection
But he went on with his lecture
(God bless his weary soul)
On the immaculate and gentlemanly
Art of deception
It started out as nothing much
But you know how things go
A war comes from a whisper
And a lisp becomes a lingo
The pounding’s getting closer
And we’ll surely have to leave here
But all I can think of are
The Hollywood Park flamingos
All around the camp
The kids are building clever traps
The men are plotting spite checks
And the dogs are licking scraps
The moon is sitting high in the sky
Projecting grace in pale white light
My mind is running wild
And I continue to recite
The only prayer that I know
And then I’ll call it a night:
“I know that you will yet find me,
Just like love will always find me.”
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2. |
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In those days you wore gold chains
And Jordache jeans,
Posed like Cagney
Dangling Swisher Sweets.
Bought a sports car and drove
With the T-tops down—
Stopped at every stop sign
In those leather seats
The housewives would laugh and shake,
Their husbands would bellyache
As you performed your routines
At my baseball games.
From all the way in right
I could see you two entwined.
McCallister was always working late.
The Unknown Comic and McCallister’s wife
Were seen together once or twice—
Dinner and a bottle of wine
When you cut the holes out
With tender precision and care
And you put it on before
You went to work that day,
Did you know then
That there was no going back,
That once you wore the bag
It was there to stay?
Did you talk in code through branches,
Exchange furtive glances
As McCallister was flipping hamburgers?
You roasted him at the Holiday Inn—
But while the others went for blood
You were uncharacteristically demure.
The Unknown Comic and McCallister’s wife
Were seen together once or twice—
Dinner and a bottle of wine
Was she an apparition?
Or was she really there?
Was it she we ate with
On the second floor of that forgotten restaurant,
Studying you like a spider studies
The back-porch eaves
As you ate your shepherd's pie?
She came to see me play
At the Culver City Tournament, right?
Hiding in plain sight.
After which we stopped at Foster's Freeze
For some sodas and soft serve.
Was she really there
In those brown leather boots,
In the purple scarf and silver stockings,
Red lipstick and mysterious frock
Warmly complimenting me
On my lackluster performance?
She looked at me like
I was the feather in your hat.
But she couldn't possibly have been there.
No, it was someone else for sure.
It was someone else's life.
It was someone else's wife
That I read about somewhere.
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3. |
Small Dick Blues
03:47
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In this dream I’m cutting into a ripe peach.
I hack and stab it and remove pieces of the meat.
The juice is running down my arms,
Warm and sticky
I go to bite it but it’s gone--
What a pity
My troubles should be plain for all to see
I’ve got buck teeth and haven’t gone through puberty
I sound like Mickey Mouse
I’m light as a feather
I’m only tethered
By whatever holds the weather
The girls in school all treat me like a trained puppy
“Puppy, you’re so cute, but don’t you dream you’ll ever fuck me”
I’ve been hacking into my arm
For the last 20 seconds
I’ll be your Labrador
The very moment that you beckon
1, 2, 3, 4 --
I want some more --
Acne -- Jewfro --
Pubic hair in my Coke --
Head meet locker --
Chest-tap torture --
Glory, Glory
These are Days of Yory!
5, 6, 7, 8 --
I cannot wait --
Steal my inhaler --
Play keep away --
Read my e-mail --
Seed my female --
Welcome to Jamaica
And have a nice day!
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
I’ve got the small dick blues
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4. |
Yachters' Rights
04:11
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Some say love is like the ocean: It's deep and it's long and you can't buy it. Not all of it at once anyway.
Heading back to California
On the New Colossus, gleaming
Like a white diamond, floating
Above the poor, pickled sea things.
Housemaid’s knees and carpal tunnel--
50,000 gallons of diesel--
We can pitch a picnic, Pippen,
At your father’s father’s expense.
My mother works in a factory,
My brother died in one.
Daddy said, “You better work till your good and dead!”
But I just wanna have some fun.
Mr. Fickle, there’s a tickle of spittle
Trickling down your chin, coalescing
Into the contours of your dimple.
You always said it makes no sense messing
With anybody who can’t help themselves,
With anyone so self-disrespecting.
I’ll sponge you down and comb your hair,
Then wheel you off to the Captain’s Lair.
My mother works in a factory,
My brother died in one.
Daddy said, “You better work till your good and dead, boy!”
But I just wanna have some fun.
Wake up, California!
The sun is shining bright!
Yeah, yeah, California!
Brush off the cobwebs of last night!
Hola, hola, Mendocino!
Your blackberry beaches!
Hola, hola, Malibu!
If I can only breach your easements!
(Sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat)
The Royal Suite is 2,000 square feet--
Floor-to-ceiling windows, a kitchen
For you to cook your own cuts of me.
Until you stay here, you don’t know what you’re missing.
I start with odds and then do evens,
Hide behind the cart as you’re leaving.
The swirling patterns make me dizzy--
Whoever said this yachting would be easy?
My mother works in a factory,
My brother died in one.
Daddy said, “You better work till your good and dead, boy,”
But I just wanna have some fun.
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5. |
I'm Always Wrong
05:14
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I was sure the summer
Would last the whole year long
Back before the flood
When I was still young
But I’m always wrong
The sky ripped open
The rain came down in throngs
I was sure the thunder
Would go forever on
But I’m always wrong
You might think that I’m prevaricating
But I swear I’m not lying when I tell you what scares me
Is the thought I might be right one of these times
When I met you, baby
Down at Madame Wong’s
I never thought we’d look back on
Ten years gone
But I’m always wrong
(I still see you walking through the door;
You looked at me and I hit the floor)
We fought that whole first year
We’d fight till the dawn
I didn’t think I could take
Any more of that Sturm und Drang
But I’m always wrong
You might think that I’m prevaricating
But I swear I’m not lying when I tell you what scares me
Is the thought I might be right one of these times
Oh, the dirty breeze
Oh, the dirty breeze
Has dropped me to my knees
Dropped me to my knees
Oh, the dirty breeze
Oh, the dirty breeze
Has dropped me to my knees
Dropped me to my knees
Oh, the dirty breeze
Oh, the dirty breeze
Has dropped me to my knees
Dropped me to my knees
The sky ripped open again, my love
But I didn’t mean to break your heart
The second I thought I had it all figured
Was the second it all came apart
Well, the sun came up
Just like it’s always done
And the morning birds
Filled the air with song
And the beat goes on
You might think that I’m prevaricating
But I swear I’m not lying when I tell you what scares me
Is the thought I might be right after all
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6. |
Shit Town
05:15
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Always the crier
And the last to know
Can’t believe I’m still here
In Chicago
I used to drink with Liz and Joan
Anymore I prefer to drink alone
Sitting ‘round in Shit Town
Getting drunk and watching the sun
Going down over the suburbs
Cut me a smile, Doc
Cut me a line
Transform this face
Into something sublime
I’ve got a stack of fashion magazines
Here I am in my Birkenstocks and jeans
Sitting ‘round in Shit Town
Getting drunk and watching the sun
Going down over the suburbs
I’ll probably have a heart attack
And be lying on my back
Just stranded here for days and days and days
Wake up a drooling mess
In the tatters of my wedding dress
A stranger with bad breath asking
“Are you okay?”
Ghostly faces
From another age
Stare right through me
From my Facebook page
I daydream Jon left me for
An actress, model, writer, doctor, or—
(Anybody but…)
Sitting ‘round in Shit Town
Getting drunk and watching the sun
Going down over the suburbs
Three cheers for the home team
Let’s go! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
And one more for me
Three cheers for the home team
Let’s go! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
And one more for me
Three cheers for the shut-in
And one more for the sot
And one more for me
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7. |
600 Books
04:05
|
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600 books
I’ve probably read
and I’ll surely forget
every word I once knew
500 songs
that we all sing along
and though I get them all wrong
every word is for you
Twenty-five years—
If we’re lucky, and then some
If we’re lucky, they will come
Every day will be brand new
Tell me, where does it say
You must seek wisdom?
And tell me where does it say
You must seek grace?
Is it love that I need, or dominion?
Is it love that I see in your face?
At the New Year’s bash
You look lovely as a lash
Lithe as a silk sash
Flowing gently after you
Naked on the couch
You are quiet as a dead mouse
I go to kiss you on the mouth
Every day is brand new
Tell me, where does it say
You must seek wisdom?
And tell me where does it say
You must seek grace?
Is it love that I need, or dominion?
Is it love that I see in your face?
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8. |
Salt and Sage
06:50
|
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A September morning
Coffee cup in hand
A little sugar and cream
Will help wash down the sand
Will help me swallow it down and
Shake awake from this dream
My mouth is dry
And eyes are bleary
The day that lies before me
Doesn’t know that I am weary
Doesn’t care that eyes are teary
That lumps are forming
I stand above you
And I watch you sleep
I suppose you’re dreaming
Of things that I no longer seek
Of ordinary things that now seep
With secret meaning
I see you in blue mittens
I see you in black tights
I see you in a red dress
That flows behind you as you might
Run through the parking lot at night
To give Daddy a kiss
I can see the future
You’re driving determinedly
From the office to your place
Where a big and loving family
Holds you close and ever amply
In its warm embrace
It’s in the telling
That it becomes a truth
It’s in your recognition
That I’ll have undisputed proof
That it was a doctor’s sooth
That I was given
When I see the tear form
In the nub of your eye
As I watch it gather
And flow down with your baby’s cry
Streak your cheek and by and by
Become a lather
I’ll try to remember
You’ve seen it all unfurl
That even at your age
Every tender-hearted girl
Knows nothing lasts in this world
Of salt and sage
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9. |
Daughter Don't Dance
04:59
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Woke up in someone’s daughter’s room
Did I imagine she was you?
When you come to me in dreams,
I wonder, are you dreaming of me too?
Low talkers I can’t abide
Slow walkers, step aside
Just let me twirl my sign from side to side
“Check your oil and change your tires!”
Yeah, yeah!
Your daughter don’t dance
And your son, he don’t rock and roll
Your daughter don’t dance
And your son don’t rock and roll
I’m old enough to be my father
Lookin’ more like Jeffrey Dahmer
And I’ve got nothing to my name
I wouldn’t sell for the right offer
Been to Oildale last week
Looked in on the secret factory
Where Lockheed unleashed
That Bakersfield sound back in 1953
Yeah, yeah!
Your daughter don’t dance
And your son, he don’t rock and roll
Your daughter don’t dance
And your son don’t rock and roll
I bought a new pair of shoes
I can pick up some tacos
Come over to your place
And we can watch the news
Like we used to do
I’m an atheist folk singer
Crooning in this Christian country band
I sing of love and life and Jesus Christ
But I don’t give a good goddamn
Maybe the country’s breaking down
Maybe the whole world’s breaking down
Maybe the Second Coming is here at hand
And I’m the last godless fool around
Yeah, yeah!
Your daughter don’t dance
And your son, he don’t rock and roll
Your daughter don’t dance
And your son don’t rock and roll
It’s a lovely day
So glad you made it
It’s such a perfect day
To give everything away
It’s a lovely day
So glad you made it
It’s such a perfect day
To give everything away
It’s a lovely day
So glad you made it
It’s such a perfect day
To give everything away
It’s a lovely day
So glad you made it
It’s such a perfect day
To give everything away
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10. |
Jews for Jesus
07:00
|
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I’ve seen unholy things
Some things I wish I could unsee
Like when I wake up in the morning
Lord knows what’s staring back at me
Like the son of Uncle Sam
I’m gonna kick out this jam
And just like Kevin Dubrow
I’m gonna rock my Jew-fro
I didn’t come for no refreshments
I didn’t come for no compliments
I saw you, I love you, I need you
And I’ve just gotta ask:
Have you seen me in my Nudie suit?
When I see you up there
Affixed to your crucifix
I think of all the times I’ve lied
And all the times I nearly died
But now I’ve gotta come to Jesus
That’s right, I’ve gotta come to Jesus
Well, Jesus was a Jew
And I’m a Jew for Jesus
I didn’t come for no refreshments
I didn’t come for no compliments
I saw you, I love you, I need you
And I’ve just gotta ask:
Have you seen me in my Nudie suit?
Always tell the truth
That’s one thing they can’t take from you
Even if it seems cruel
Even if they laugh and throw it back at you
And I know you always tell me the truth
That’s one thing I will say for you
And I know you don’t mean to be cruel
I know you don’t mean it
But I love you even if you do
You ever feel you’ve been cheated?
You ever feel you’ve been had?
After all is said and done, lord,
To realize you were scammed?
I want to feel the earth below me
And curl my toes up in the sand
Maybe drift out in the ocean
And look back at this troubled land…
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